Your Boss No Longer Trusts You. What to Do.
He has said it. He thinks I have not been doing my job for more than a month now.
I think that’s ridiculous because he and his brother have been adding more piles of jobs to me than they usually do and I never ever complained.
Not for a single moment.
He thinks I no longer feel like working with him when the truth is, I told him that I joined an international contest of which I luckily made it to the Top 10. I admitted to him that I have been MIA for more than a week because the contest has been taking so much of my time but I will make it up and trust me, I did. I felt that I needed to be fair with him and told him that I have been working part-time because I want to be open with him. I wanted him to know what I have been up to but that doesn’t mean I no longer want to work with him. Most employees just leave leaving their bosses clueless but in my case, I told him I joined a contest but I still want to work with him.
Besides, I didn’t get the job so what’s the fuzz. He keeps on insisting that though he feels bad of letting me go, he’d try to be happy for me. I suggested that he pay me part-time for that pay period even if I have only been working part-time for a week. I guess that’s fair enough for him.
He already threw in some signals that he’s ever ready to give up on me anytime! Whooa! Now that is the reward for my loyalty for over 9 months now?!
It was only a week that I have worked part-time instead of the expected full time but months prior to that, I sleep at around 1:00 in the morning or even 3:00 in the morning to the point that I even slept during our Sunday sacrament meeting.
Now I don’t wanna appear like I devoted so much of my life in my work than I actually did but that’s the truth. I would work during weekends just to make sure the tasks would be done when they’re expected because I love my work.
During my part-time work with Jollibee Foods Corporation, I’ve learned the value of labor of love (LOL) wherein I would work for extended hours and don’t expect for any additional compensation because it’s your way of showing your love and devotion for the work that keeps you afloat in life.
I love my work more than anything else in the world. Second to my mom and God of course. But loving my job means loving my mom because it’s my job that allows me to buy things and needs of my mom. They’re interconnected.
How to Fix Misunderstandings at Work and in Life
As I was reading an article at Harvard Business Review Journal entitled How to Fix Misunderstandings at Work and in Life, the first few sentences struck me.
But for me, every subsequent interaction with him occurred within the context of “I can’t trust him.” No matter what he was saying to me, the background commentary in my head ran, “He’s not telling the truth, be careful, watch out, you can’t trust him.”
Those were the thoughts that run in my head every time I get an email entailing my tasks, from my boss. It seems like every time I hear from him, it’s like I don’t really think he trusts me anymore.
Well he said it. He feels like he cannot trust me anymore.
Being too Honest Isn’t Healthy and Advisable Always
I always thought that the truth can set you free and that honesty will always be your friend.
The truth is, in this world, sometimes we need to know when to hide something because at some point, hiding something doesn’t mean lying. Technically, it isn’t, right? People would often argue;
“Why you didn’t tell me you don’t like girls that smoke”
“Well, you didn’t ask!”
You see, the experience has taught me that sometimes, I must learn not to volunteer details. That I must just talk when I asked and that I should only give what the world asks of me.
Managers Don’t Really Care Much About their Employees – At least Most
Below is a video of Tiffany Alvord’s Never Lover Boy and there’s a part of the song of which I modify some words to explain the feelings I currently feel towards my boss:
But I was, just a-nother girl to work for him,
Just another heart broken
He di-dn’t care, about what I felt or said,
He wanna see what he could get
I was, just a-nother girl to work for him
Just another heart broken
Continuing in the How to Fix Misunderstandings at Work and in Life article,
For me it was, as I said, “I can’t trust you.” For him, it was, “You think I’m a commodity, and you don’t care about me as a person,” which is the signal one would get from a person completely preoccupied with a sense of distrust. How could there be any space for me show concern about your life when I’m constantly worrying about being attacked from behind by you? It would be like the bull saying to the bullfighter, “You don’t show any interest in me personally.”
Whether they admit it or not, some managers are just focused about what they could get from their employees instead of the trust and relationship that they could build. Little did they realize that once an employee feels that he’s trusted and valued, the more value he could give in the company and devotion and productivity could be produced.
Turning the Conflict to the Best of Both’s Interest
In an article, Working With A Boss You Don’t Trust, several steps were advised to help employees focus on the task at hand and focus on the much more productive aspects of the job instead of focusing on that which ruins the existing relationship.
I value my work a lot. I value the people I work with. It’s pretty obvious with my professional experiences and what my former colleagues and supporters say about me. My job record says I’ve been working with a specific company for more than a year, more than 3 years and that only shows my loyalty to the person and the company that I work for.
When in a situation wherein you no longer trust your boss or vice-versa, remember that sometimes in life, there would be conflicts that will test our character and relationship and it is through these trials we can prove our value and values.
It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.
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