Ways to Annoy People on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and Your Blog
We all want to increase our reach through Twitter, Facebook and have more traffic on our blog. In my previous article, I have highlighted the 4 Steps to Increase Followers on Twitter and Pinterest. However, we often commit social media blunders on various social networking platforms. Below are just some of the things we often do that prevents us from getting the most eyeballs to our works.
How to Attract Followers on Twitter – NOT
1. Follow your favourite A-star celebrities; after all, they are sure to follow you back.
2. Don’t bother to look up other people in your own professional field.
3. Re-post your personal links and demand an RT, and when people follow you DON’T follow back.
4. Don’t bother to post anything worthwhile, I mean, just how are you supposed to construct a sentence with only 140 characters? Sheesh!
5. Don’t make use of the opportunity of writing a short bio, after all, no one reads it.
6. Don’t bother to add links to your other media sites in the bio, either.
7. Spam your company, and organise an automated response to every new follower to ‘check out my website’.
8. You’ve probably seen people tweeting ‘follow me and gain 1000 follows’ well, follow them and gain 1000 follows! It IS that simple!
9. Seek out the sites that promise: ‘
How to Grow Your Follower Numbers to Over 10,000 in a Week’.
10. Pay them lots of money.
11. Tweet drunk – so funny!
12. Lastly, make sure you keep your ‘egg’ profile picture because it keeps you mysterious. Oh, and lock your tweets. You don’t want any old fart following you.
How to Attract Attention on Facebook – NOT
1. Upload lots and lots of photos of your holiday, your children, your car, your house, and the GORGEOUS new dress you bought in the sale (or the shiny new car). Your ‘friends’ would love it!
2. Don’t seek out groups because FB is all about friends and family. Connect with your ALL your family, especially your sister who only lives two doors down and moan about one another’s husbands/jobs/kids/pets (delete which is applicable).
3. Find long lost friends and giggle about the ‘good old days’.
4. Don’t have a bio detailing all that you do because your details are sold on to other sites. Yes, you ARE that important!
5. Neither have an avatar, because your face could end up in a porn film!
6. If a stranger asks to be your friend, demand a reason and carefully scrutinise his/her response – if you get one.
7. Don’t bother commenting on anyone else’s status.
8. Beg everyone to ‘like’ your Facebook page. Promise you’ll ‘like’ them back, but don’t really mean it.
Blogs/Websites:
1. Don’t even bother to get one. What a waste of time! But, if you’re going to, choose the most expensive and be prepared to pay out lots of money.
Don’t accept anything less, and certainly don’t bother with the free ones on offer!
2. Blog about your life and, like FB, upload lots of pictures of your kids, holidays etc.
3. Unleash your inner politician and talk about where the Prime Minister/President is going wrong, if politics don’t tickle your fancy try religion.
People love discussing their faith.
4. When you get a comment that you don’t agree with, let rip! Really, let that cheeky, good-for-nothing commenter have it.
5. Don’t waste your time visiting other blogs, and don’t follow anyone. This is important. Remember the golden rule: be a leader not a follower.
Forums:
1. Don’t bother to read the forum rules, nobody follows rules anyway.
2. Talk about yourself all the time, and remember the golden rule: ‘Me! Me! Me!’
3. If someone has the audacity to ask you questions don’t answer them. It’s a ruse for spammers to get hold of your details and sell them on.
Pinterst, Triberr, LinkedIn, Google Plus, etc:
1. These may be new to you, but you needn’t check them out because they’ll only be a flash in the pan.
2. But if you’re the type to use every media site on offer – good for you! Dip in and out and don’t bother to connect with other users or see what they are saying. Flitter here and there and NEVER make one media site your ‘home’. Be a social butterfly because people WILL remember that egg.
3. Use the copy and paste function and share the EXACT same thing to EVERY media site. There is no need to be original. Post, repost and post again.
Over and over.
And remember once an egg, always an egg.
Louise Wise Bio:
Married, with four children, Louise Wise lives in England. She is a pharmacist technician by day, and a writer by night. She was educated in an ordinary state school and left without achieving much in the way of qualifications; you could say she was the result of a crap state-funded school. Hungry for knowledge she enrolled in an Adult Education centre and studied English, maths and creative writing. Whereas other young girls asked for makeup and clothes for their birthdays, she asked for encyclopaedias!
Louise Wise used her general love of romantic fiction and interest in astronomy to write her first published book, Eden. It was an experimental novel and was never meant to see the light of day! She had received many rejections, which stated that the novel was just too original for the current market. An agent took it on but failed to find a publisher for it, this urged Louise into believing in herself as a writer. Since then, she believes she has found her niche with romantic comedy.
You may connect with her on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
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